Two of my friends did two profound things within days of each other. These things were different. One was an action and the other was a statement. One was age-defying and the other was a slow walk toward decline, decay, and unhealth. Each illustrated mindset and belief.
“I don’t want to hold you guys back,” my one friend said. We were hiking up a mountain in Montana’s Bridger Range, hunting grouse. The climb was steep. We’d driven most of the way up the mountain on a boulder-strewn, narrow road that offered no margin for error – lose control of the wheel and folks would talk at your funeral about how you died in the mountains of Montana. But we still had a mile and a half to the top where we’d start hunting grouse.
The air was cool, and the uphill climb felt good to my legs and lungs. I was, however, concerned for my friend. He’s 60, and while he’s an active guy, he’s not used to climbing steep terrain at high elevations. We were moving at a good clip, and I thought we’d have to slow down so we didn’t burn him out. I was wrong. His lifetime of running and lifting weights served him well.
“How ya doin’, Barry?” I half-turned to say over my shoulder. He wasn’t more than a few yards behind me. “Doing good!” he said back. And he sounded good. He wasn’t winded; he didn’t seem exasperated. I believed him. We made it to the top of mountain and hunted our way through dark timber. Barry kicked ass the whole time. It was a profound action. Barry spent the rest of the week in Montana taking profound action. He kept up with three guys, all at least 20 years his junior, in the mountains, streams, and high prairie of Montana.
We closed the week of hunting and fishing with a grouse hunt on a steep mountain somewhere in the Paradise Valley. Sage-covered slopes rose to rolling grass meadows which climbed to dark timber. We flushed one grouse, but no one got a shot at it. After a few swings up and down a slope trying to find it, we looked out over the landscape to plant our minds firmly in that place for as long as we could, took mental and real pictures, and hiked down to the truck.
Our friend Christian paused to relieve himself, so Barry and I made it back to the truck with a few moments to ourselves. “This was awesome,” he said, “and there are just so many more hunts I want to do while I still can.” Snow capped mountains and a sweeping valley with a distant river provided the perfect backdrop for such a statement. “I just feel like I’m running out of time,” he finished.
“We all are,” I replied.
“I know, but I want to use mine,” he said. We downloaded our gear and packed it in the truck. Christian caught up with us and we drove down the mountain road to spend the rest of the daylight hours fishing the Yellowstone River.
A couple of days later I was back in Virginia. I got a text from another buddy, he was on his way to the emergency room. He’d just ruptured his Achilles tendon. He was playing basketball when it happened.
We did the normal round of conciliatory talk, and then he said the profound something I’ve meant to talk to you about. He said, “Getting old. Gotta slow down and take it easy.” We’re the same age – 37. What a sad place for the mind to go.
I replied, “I disagree. Gotta train so you can continue to do the things you enjoy and not be limited.”
“Yeah, or do that,” he replied.
This friend is active, but he doesn’t train. He hunts and fishes. He keeps himself moving by working around his property and he’ll go on an occasional backpacking trip. So, it’s no wonder that his lower leg wasn’t ready for a pick-up basketball game. True readiness to take on any challenge or activity requires well-rounded training, not just a relatively active lifestyle.
Knowing that, it’s easy to see why his mind went to I’m old now, I can’t do the things I used to do. He hasn’t been showing himself that he’s still capable. He hasn’t demonstrated to himself that he’s still strong, he’s still athletic, he’s still prepared to do the things he loves.
It’s unfortunate and it’s common. So many people hit their 30s and decide that they have to take it easy, not realizing that mindset slowly kills their body and their spirit. And bad friends and influences allow them to believe it’s true. “Oh, I know, my knee hurts, too,” they say. Or they relish being “fat and happy.” “What do you want to do that for?” they ask when you mention you’d like to challenge yourself in some way.
They’re acting old well before they are old.
Then there’s Barry.
He’s half a lifetime older than folks that are already giving up on themselves, and he’s looking to the future. He has aspirations. He has a purpose. He’s wants to challenge himself and see beautiful places and animals while he does it.
I’m certain his perspective is informed by the wisdom that comes from seeing life go by. But we don’t have to wait for life to go by to live with that wisdom.
You can remain young for as long as you like.
You just have to stop acting like you’re old.
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