“My life is full of tragedies, most of which never happened.”

– William “Pop” Sullenberger

 

The above quote is something my grandfather (we called him Pop) told me for years while I was growing up and it’s always stuck with me. As a young kid, I honestly didn’t understand the importance of those words. I mean, how could I? All I wanted to do at the time was play Super Mario Bros. on his Gameboy that he had. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that the wisdom of those words sunk in.

Growing up I always struggled with overthinking and being stuck in my head. I’m an analytical person and it’s far too easy for me to overthink the smallest situations. I would give myself anxiety when everything ended up being fine in the end. And that’s what Pop was trying to teach me. “My life is full of tragedies that never happen” is about how we overthink and create these horrible events/scenarios in our head that don’t end up happening. Worrying about the unknown is normal, but it doesn’t have to consume us and cause us to stress excessively.

 

 

Now, have I completely mastered not overthinking? Nope. Will I ever? I doubt it, but Pop’s words are something I reflect on when I feel I’m overthinking a situation. By reciting this saying in my head, it helps me take a step back from what I’m worrying about, because I realize things might not be as bad as they seem. I then take stock of my reality in that moment. What information do I have on this situation that I know is true? What is the story I am telling myself about this event? Will this worrying and overthinking actually help me in anyway?  If not, then I focus on what I know to be true and take action on what I can.  

I think Ryan Holiday illustrated the uselessness of overthinking and worrying in advance best when he said, “Think about it. Best case scenario—if the news turns out to be better than expected, all this time was wasted with needless fear. Worst case scenario—we were miserable for extra time, by choice.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t understand the wisdom of his words and lessons until after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. While writing last week’s post on gratitude it made me do some reflecting and made me remember I never had the chance to tell Pop how much I appreciated all those lessons he taught me. It’s one regret I have for sure (more on regrets in the next blog), but also, it’s why practicing gratitude is so important. Because a sad truth about life is we don’t always realize how important something is to us until its too late.

If you’ve ever known someone with Alzheimer’s then you know how quickly it can affect someone. In what seemed like no time at all Pop wasn’t himself. He was still around but in a way he wasn’t. He couldn’t remember who my grandmother was, who I was, and much more. It’s a tough thing to watch someone go through to put it lightly. Witnessing someone’s life change so suddenly in this way taught me the importance of valuing what we have.

 

 

I don’t want to forget to tell a friend or family member how much they mean to me. Or to simply be grateful for the little things I take for granted without realizing it. Life is going to happen how it happens, whether it’s the way we wish it unfolded or not. By actively practicing gratitude though, we can take stock daily of the things and people that are important to us. This could mean sending a hand-written card to someone who did something nice for us, texting a friend we haven’t talked to in a while to catch up over coffee, or simply telling a loved one we love them.

Even though it’s been years since his passing his words and lessons are something I reflect on often. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of being grateful of the good in our life, whatever it is. Last week’s post was about how practicing gratitude impacts our lives, but that practice also has the chance to impact the lives of those we’re close to as well. And if we find ourselves worrying about something, then may we tell ourselves that, “My life is full of tragedies, most of which never happened.”