“A limiting belief is a misunderstanding of the present that shortchanges the future.” -Michael Hyatt
What if I told you that someone was trying to make your life difficult? They wanted to make it less fulfilling, to make easy tasks hard, to prevent you from living the life you want.
What if I told you that you know this person? How would you feel about that?
You go to apply for a job, and that person, throwing harsh words your way, makes you second guess yourself. They make you think you are not good enough.
One morning, you wake up to put your workout clothes on, and they say, “You’re too lazy to get in shape, you’ve never succeeded with exercise before.”
Most of us would be annoyed with this person. We would be pissed if someone kept stomping on our wishes and putting obstacles in our path that didn’t need to be there.
So, who is this person? Who is this inconsiderate butthole who is preventing us from doing things we want?
That person is you.
More specifically: you get in your own way because of the limiting beliefs you carry.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have some of these beliefs lingering around.
They might sound like this:
- I am not good enough for this job;
- I do not have time to work out, I am too busy; or
- Why bother trying, I will just fail like I do everything else.
Limiting beliefs like those above have power because we give them power. And, since we give them power, we can take it away. Often when we examine them, a truth is revealed—those beliefs are false.
Let me pause for a moment.
All this talk of limiting beliefs can be a lot to make sense of. It is all abstract. To make this easier to grasp I want to share a story about coyotes.
On the Side of A Road With Coyotes At Night
“Ouch,” Tim said, rubbing his thigh as he stood from the mud.
I can’t believe that happened.
Tim, minutes ago, was resting on the guardrail waiting for his bus home. Unexpectedly, the guardrail broke and sent him sliding down the hill into a ditch.
“Help!” he yelled. No response. He yelled once more. Still nothing.
Crunch! Leaves had been crumpled in the darkness behind him. Tim spun around to see if something was there. Then he heard it—a growl coming from a few yards away, and he saw them: three pairs of eyes staring back at him in the darkness.
All he saw were those eyes, he could see nothing else; it’s as if someone spilled a bottle of ink on the side of the road.
Another growl came. Then another.
His chest tightened and the hairs stood up on his arm.
I can’t believe it. What are those things? Coyotes? Doesn’t matter, I need to get out of here, and fast!
The hill was too steep to climb back up, so he darted to the right to escape. But, after a few steps, he slipped in the mud and fell on his side.
Damn. What did I fall on?
He grabbed a small object, sliding his hand along it, trying to decipher what it was.
There’s a button. It’s a flashlight!
Tim spun around and shined the flashlight on the coyotes.
Then, he laughed.
Wait, you’re what I was so scared of. Goodness. To think you frightened me.
Tim’s flashlight shined, not on coyotes, but on three little chihuahuas.
Chihuahuas. Three. Stray. Chihuahuas. And I was terrified of them. I can’t believe I mistook them for coyotes. They’re probably more scared of me than I was of them.
Our Beliefs Have Power Because We Give Them Power
“There are a million thoughts running through our heads, but we alone get to choose what we’re going to believe.” -Michael Hyatt
The coyotes in the story were not actual coyotes—but Tim believed they were. Once he saw those eyes, he created a belief: those eyes and growls belong to powerful coyotes.
He gave them power by believing they were powerful. The false belief influenced how he acted.
Our limiting beliefs are coyotes. They prevent us from achieving our goals, from living a good life, from moving forward, because we let them. They are given free rein to move and go in the darkness as they please.
All of us, no matter where we are in life, have coyotes to deal with; and those piercing eyes in the dark, growling at us to listen to them, are often false—they are chihuahuas.
These limiting beliefs come in different shapes and forms. Just like there were three coyotes in the story above, there are three common limiting beliefs. Michael Hyatt talks about these in his book Your Best Year Ever. The beliefs are those we have about the world, about others, and about ourselves.
Beliefs about the world might sound like this: “Life has it out for me, it’s so unfair.”
About others might sound like this: “Of course she’s successful, she’s had it so easy in life.”
And yourself might sound like this: “I’m lazy. I’ll never be fit.”
These are all coyotes. Spotting their eyes in the dark is crucial. Creating awareness of the coyotes is important.
Unfortunately, having awareness is not enough.
If Awareness of Our Beliefs Isn’t Enough, Then What Do We Do?
Having awareness wasn’t enough for Tim and it’s not enough for us. Tim noticed those eyes in the dark—the beliefs—but that was not helpful. He needed to do more. He had to examine them. After all, they are there for a reason. They serve a purpose.
It is easier to tell ourselves limiting beliefs that we aren’t fit because we’re lazy, than it is to actually get fit.
It is easy to tell ourselves the limiting belief that our friend is successful because she’s had it easy, than it is to accept that she’s had to overcome challenges.
So, once we have awareness of a belief that is holding us back, we follow a two-step process.
First, we ask ourselves: “How do I know this belief is true?”
Often—not always but often—when a belief is false, that question helps create doubt. We simply do not have answers easily available to us.
And as we work through the answers to that question, we must be honest with ourselves. We must do our best to see them as they are.
Think about it: would it make sense to act on false beliefs, to decide based on information we knew was wrong? Nope. It would not.
Recognizing false beliefs as false is powerful: inherent in that realization is hope. If we discover that we are not lazy, then the excuse is gone. We can move towards our health goals.
The coyote was actually a chihuahua. It’s powerless.
Second, once we have examined the limiting beliefs holding us back, we replace them with a liberating truth instead.
Liberating Truths
A liberating truth is more than just a simple affirmation. It is a belief that we have the ability to do what we want to do; it’s shifting from a fixed mindset, which is limiting, to a growth mindset, which is nearly limitless.
“I’ll never become fit because I’m lazy,” becomes, “I’m active and make it to the gym consistently.”
“I don’t have enough money to pay my bills,” becomes, “I have enough money to meet my needs.”
Now, look, I get it. Those things sound like nice ideas. Wishing and wanting does not make things happen.
You are right.
But remember this: we created our limiting beliefs—our coyotes—and they influenced how we acted. Thus, we can create liberating truths that influence us in powerful, positive ways.
They may seem fake at first, but they become real over time. It is like buying a shirt that was too big when growing up. It felt awkward at first. But, as we continued to grow, we grew into it. It no longer felt awkward, it felt normal.
Take A Look At Your Life
What beliefs do you commonly tell yourself about the world, about others, about yourself? Do not let them remain shrouded in the dark, exerting power over you without realizing it. Expose the coyotes to the light. See them as the chihuahuas they are.
Remember: we all have limiting beliefs. But they don’t have to limit us if we choose to examine them, if we choose to reframe them as liberating truths. We have the ability to get out of our own way and live the life we want.
