Have you ever wanted to make a healthy change for your life but, no matter what you try, you never seem to make any progress? You try a diet, or two, but you don’t lose weight. You join a gym and work out for a time, but no results come.
It’s frustrating. It’s tiresome. You’re working and working and working to improve your health—with nothing to show for it.
Lack of results leads to lack of confidence that you can change, that you’ll be successful.
It can also make you feel desperate; it can make you willing to try anything. You start looking for solutions anywhere they pop up—advice from friends, the internet, in a magazine—all the while hoping that this next change to your lifestyle will give you what you want.
This desperation and frustration leads you to hopping; that is, hopping from diet to diet, workout program to workout program. Yet you end in the same place: exactly where you started your journey—with no results.
So you do something understandable: you hop on another diet.
Because it makes sense. Maybe the diet you tried wasn’t the best fit for you, but another one will be. And sometimes this new diet doesn’t come from the internet, but from our friends; in other words, we know someone who was successful on a certain diet, so we decide to try it.
The thinking goes like this: if it worked for them, then it will work for me.
But will it?
Maybe, maybe not. In a situation like this, where we have been unsuccessful with fat loss, we crave certainty. We want to know what to do. That’s why hopping onto another diet is so enticing: it promises us certainty of how to lose fat.
Figuring out a better approach to nutrition that leads you to your goals isn’t as easy as following your friends diet though (or hopping on any other diet). In other words, certainty isn’t everything. Allow me to explain what I mean—and how to be more successful with your nutrition—with a short story.
Successful Like Samantha
Kim found herself plopped down on her couch after a long day of work doing what she always did: scrolling aimlessly through Facebook. The day was tough, it was stressful. Facebook was an escape where she could watch cute puppy videos, look at some memes, and avoid thinking about her day.
After giving birth to her daughter, Kim’s weight remained higher than she wanted it to be; she just wanted her pre-pregnancy weight back. But the scale didn’t budge. Not even a little. So, when an article popped up on her Facebook feed describing some miracle diet, she read about it. It was called the 1,000 calorie diet.
This seemed familiar to her. Kim couldn’t place it right way though, until it hit her—one of her friends, Samantha, had followed the diet; and Samantha lost a ton of weight!
Kim quickly searched for Samantha’s Facebook page and found the photo she was thinking of: a picture of Samantha after losing 30 pounds on the 1,000 calorie diet.
“This is what I need to lose this stubborn body fat,” Kim thought. Even though the 1,000 calorie diet sounded straight forward—you eat 1,000 calories a day, each day, for 90 days—she figured it would be best to give Samantha a call. Plus, it had been over a year since they had called each other to catch up.
Knowing that the 1,000 calorie diet was the answer to her fat loss, Kim called Samantha the next morning.
The Phone Call
After some small talk, some catching up after not having spoken in so long, Kim asked Samantha about the diet. She couldn’t wait to learn more about it so she could get started. How was the diet overall? What was the easiest way to get started? Any tips about it?
After tossing the questions out to Samantha, there was silence on the phone.
Seconds went by.
Then a few more seconds.
Finally, Samantha said, “Uhm, well. This really sucks to admit, but those 30 pounds I lost? It’s all back. I gained all the weight back.”
Kim sat back in her seat. Then, she said, “I had no clue Samantha. After seeing the picture you posted last year, I assumed things had gone really well. If you don’t mind my asking, what happened?”
“Well, you’re right, it had gone well,” Samantha said. “Really well, until it didn’t. The 1,000 calorie diet worked like a miracle! I lost a lot of weight. It was great! But I couldn’t sustain it. And I felt miserable while following that diet. I was always hungry. Always wanting more and more food but not being able to have it.
And you know what the worst part was? Losing that weight—feeling so happy with myself—just to watch myself pile it back on.”
“Wow,” Kim said. “I’m sorry to hear that. You worked so hard for it. That sucks.”
“It does suck,” Samantha said. “But it’s also my fault. I got so excited when I learned about the diet, that I jumped right into it. I thought, ‘this will work for me,’ and started following it, instead of being more curious about it. Instead of thinking if I could follow that diet for years to come, and not just 3 months.”
Kim slumped down in her chair. “I guess this diet isn’t for me then.”
“I don’t think it would be good,” Samantha said. “But, if you’re interested, I might have an alternative for you. I just signed up for a gym that caters everything specifically to you. They start you with just four simple things to focus on—showing up for your sessions, which are built around your ideal schedule, and then aiming for certain benchmarks for walking, water, and sleep. Then, once you’ve demonstrated consistency with those things, they set you up with a 12-week anti-diet nutrition course. Maybe we could do it together?”
“Oh, really,” Kim said. “That sounds interesting. Could you tell me more about that?”
From Certainty To Curiosity
Kim almost fell into a common trap that we all do: we get excited about trying something new, so we jump right into without thinking deeply about it. We do so without considering how that thing—a diet, workout program, new habit—fits into our life.
A friend tries a crazy new diet, like Samantha did, and we want to get started on it right away. We hear about a new miracle fat loss pill and assume it’s what we need, so we buy it. No thinking, just buying.
An alternative, more helpful approach though, is something Ray Dalio once said. Instead of saying, “I know I’m right,” ask,
“How do I know I’m right?”
This takes us from certainty to curiosity.
To be successful with fat loss, we must stay curious.
If we feel very strongly about something—if we hate it or love it—that’s an invitation to become curious. How do we know X thing will work for us?
In Kim’s case, she saw the article about the 1,000 calorie diet and jumped on the certainty train. Upon reading about the diet, she became convinced that it was what she needed; in other words, she felt strongly about it being what she needed, and she didn’t get curious enough about it.
Thankfully though, she took the time to call Samantha and she talked Kim out of trying something that wouldn’t have worked for her—something that wouldn’t have been sustainable in the long run.
When we’re caught in the grip of desperation, it’s easy to hop onto the next diet train that comes rolling by. But what’s the rush?
Why not take a little time to examine the possible options in front of us before jumping on board? After all, a different, better nutrition option might come rolling by next. And hopefully, that would be a nutrition option that will actually help us be successful in the long run, not just for 90 days.
For fat loss to be truly successful, sustainability must also come along for the ride.
So, the next time you feel strongly about a new diet, workout program, or anything else—ask yourself, “How do I know this will be a good thing for me?” That strong feeling towards trying something new is a sign to be curious. Examine how you know you’re right that it will work for you. Go from certainty to curiosity.
By the way, if you’d like help navigating all of the confusing nutrition information out there—if you’re curious about finding the nutrition solution that will work for you and your goals—we’d be happy to help. Click the link below to claim your free week and get started at Beyond Strength.