“I trained at (insert local gym name here), and it was great at first, but they didn’t keep me motivated—I wasn’t seeing the results like I expected and I quit after about two months.”
The above quote (from memory) was a small piece of a conversation I had with the mother of a new member last night. While I knew we were there to discuss her son, we got on the topic of her training while he was filling out paperwork. As soon as I heard her say that, I knew that I could help, but only as much as she was willing to be honest with herself about the past.
Her story is common—one that I hear often during sit-downs with prospective members. And regardless of the exact words used, the underlying issue is almost always the same.
Maybe that gym really didn’t do a good job, I’ll give that idea a fighting chance. But I believe that feelings crushed her progress—halting any chance of success dead in it’s tracks.
Unmet by the instant success we expect, we can lose heart and give up.
– Michael Hyatt, Your Best Year Ever
Why are you here?
Sounds like a harsh question, right? But context is important…
What GOAL(S) brought you into the gym?
No, no—not the surface level answers:
- Weight loss
- Look better
- Strength
- etc…
What made you finally say, “Enough is enough, I’m joining the gym today. And not just any gym. I’m joining the best gym ever, BSP NOVA (potential bias on my part). I’m going to invest (ballpark) $259/month into accomplishing these goals.”
Maybe you’re not comfortable enough with us to let that come out yet, which is also normal. But do you know?
Maybe it’s something like:
I’m tired of waking up every day, seeing myself in the mirror, knowing that I’m not happy with who I’ve become. I refuse to buy clothes another size up—again. I want my confidence back.
I want people to say, “Wow, (your name here), you look great! What have you been doing?!”
I’m tired of making poor choices with my diet and lack of exercise, but at this point I don’t know where to begin, and I have close to zero confidence in myself to get it done due to so many failures in the past.
Can you help me, please?
No pressure on us, right?!
Now that you’re being honest about what you DON’T want
What, in an ideal world, do you want? We know that you no longer want the above scenario (or whatever yours is), and that’s great. Let’s call that your “hell.” But, if the next year were to go absolutely perfect, what would absolutely make you sing with joy. Let’s call that your “heaven.” It would probably look like the opposite of the above scenario—whatever your hell was.
With your heaven in mind, we can now start to create some goals. Real. Actionable. Measurable. Concrete. Goals.
As Michael Hyatt explains in “Your Best Year Ever,” we can (and should) create achievement goals, as well as habit goals.
Most people don’t have a hard time putting together their achievement goals. “I want to lose 5olbs this year, and fit back into my clothes from 2008.” The latter is where most people miss the mark—habit goals. And by miss the mark, I mean that they don’t set them at all…
“In order to lose 50lbs this year, I commit to…
- attending semi-private personal training, at BSP NOVA, 2x/week for the next 50 weeks in 2018.
- joining the Nutrition Coaching program at BSP NOVA, and participating in the entire program for a year.
- Learning 5 new healthy recipes every month for a year.
- …
Detach from your feelings (most of the time)
Now, here’s what’s going to happen when you start to get after an achievement goal without setting up habit goals—exactly what happened to the mother I started this post off with… you’ll lose hope, FAST, and quit.
“Emotions change like the wind, and you can’t stop them. No one can. They keep moving; that’s why they’re called emotions and not e-standingstills.”
– Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness
But this doesn’t need to be you…
First, you need to set habit goals and fully commit to seeing them through.
Second, you need to attach those habit goals to your achievement goals.
Third, make sure this is all aligned with your deep emotional why—your heaven and hell.
Fourth, you need to figure out what you can measure to know if this is working or not.
Is your goal is weight loss/body composition improvement? This could be as simple as measuring waist circumference, checking your weight, and attempting to slip into a pair of jeans you want to fit in again. Simply measure one of them each week, on the same day, repeating each one every three weeks.
Now, you need to detach from your feelings for a bit. This is key!
No matter how you’re feeling, even if you think you’re making no progress at all,
Give. It. Time.
Maybe those first few measurements show minimal to no change. Keep going. The only emotion you should check in with is WHY you’re doing all of this in the first place. Keep going.
Consistency. Momentum. Results.
In other words, persistent, action-filled patience. I promise you, as I’ve seen this time and time again, it will work.
And when you feel like quitting—trust me, you will—just check in and be honest with yourself about a few things first.
- Are you really knocking the habit goals out of the park 80-90% of the time?
- Are you being patient?
- Are you keeping your deep goals—your WHY—top of mind?
The results will come
(but they won’t happen overnight)
If you can do the above, and truly take consistent action towards your goals over the course of one year, amazing things will happen—I guarantee it.
Go. It’s time you finally achieved what you want.
P.S. All of this can, and should be, fun.
I don’t mean to paint a bleak picture with ignoring your emotions, trudging forward through hell, and continuing to go no matter what…
In actuality, you need an environment that supports you in the process. You need an environment that you enjoy being in. You deserve to have fun in the process.
I just need you to understand that your emotions will get the best of you some days, and you just need to keep going.
Here’s what one of our members had to say about the community of BSP NOVA:
One of the biggest motivating factors for me (that I absolutely never would have expected prior to joining BSP) is the personal relationships I’ve developed. When I feel like garbage (read: hungover) and don’t feel like working out at all, I still get excited to come in, because I know that I’ll get to see a bunch of hilarious people that brighten the hell out of my miserable day. There’s no way to put a price tag on that, and it can’t be overstated how valuable it is.
– Bob Fisher
